Archive for January, 2010

A Song About ZOMGitscriss by The RETAR Crew

January 29, 2010

These guys did a parody of the Christian Side Hug song which is BRILLIANT, and then came up with this. Freakin awesome!

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Creation “Museum” — Also Ugly

January 22, 2010

You might as well put a saddle on old Ken Ham these days. That poor old dinosaur is getting ridden constantly. Every time someone bothers to write about his Creation “Museum,” they come away with the same basic reaction: “Oh, the Creation … ‘Museum.'” It is important to make a full, and distinct, “airquotes” motion with your hands, because someday in the future, it will be the gold standard for denoting sarcasm.

This time, it is A.A. Gil from Vanity Fair who gets the sour taste of Ken Ham’s “museum” (Ken Ham will be alright though, most of his audience isn’t allowed to read a sinful thing like Vanity Affair).

What is truly awe-inspiring about the museum is the task it sets itself: to rationalize a story, written 3,000 years ago, without allowing for any metaphoric or symbolic wiggle room. There’s no poetic license. This is a no-parable zone. It starts with the definitive answer, and all the questions have to be made to fit under it. That’s tough.

Ahh, so true. It reminds me again of what Fred Clark has pointed out — these people are living with a serious false dichotomy. It is a sad thing to have people living with rigid minded thinking taken to its very limit — the impossible is true, or nothing is true. After writing my previous post on Ken Ham, I poked around Answers in Genesis a little, and came across this gem. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, Dr. Jason Lisle:

Materialistic atheism is one of the easiest worldviews to refute. A materialistic atheist believes that nature is all that there is. He believes that there is no transcendent God who oversees and maintains creation. Many atheists believe that their worldview is rational—and scientific. However, by embracing materialism, the atheist has destroyed the possibility of knowledge, as well as science and technology. In other words, if atheism were true, it would be impossible to prove anything!

Oh snap! I was about to get popcorn but it looks like my frail worldview is about to get face-fucked by god again! Alright, I can take it, whip it out Jason!

Laws of logic are God’s standard for thinking. Since God is an unchanging, sovereign, immaterial Being, the laws of logic are abstract, universal, invariant entities. In other words, they are not made of matter—they apply everywhere and at all times. Laws of logic are contingent upon God’s unchanging nature. And they are necessary for logical reasoning. Thus, rational reasoning would be impossible without the biblical God.

The materialistic atheist can’t have laws of logic. He believes that everything that exists is material—part of the physical world. But laws of logic are not physical. You can’t stub your toe on a law of logic. Laws of logic cannot exist in the atheist’s world, yet he uses them to try to reason. This is inconsistent. He is borrowing from the Christian worldview to argue against the Christian worldview. The atheist’s view cannot be rational because he uses things (laws of logic) that cannot exist according to his profession.

Boom! GG fellow atheists, the jig is up. We cannot be rational because you can’t stub your toe on logic. With logic like that, who needs faith? The good doctor has just explained to us, (in so many words) that the god of the bible is literally true, or else there could be no such thing as ideas. And you certainly don’t think that there aren’t no ideas right? So God exists! GG again, thieving atheists. And to think all this time I thought logic proved god wrong, I was just proving *I* was wrong, because logic proves god! Bam! Dr. Jason Lisle continues on like this, even bringing up the smelly old arguing about the existence of air bit. Such thin gas, but so foul. QualiaSoup (from youtube) has several excellent videos that discuss this kind of flawed thinking quite well.

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more about "Critical Thinking", posted with vodpod

It is a bad place for a person to be. Unfortunately, this is the place that millions of Americans are, and where people like Ken Ham are trying to keep them. Getting them to move away from that place is going to be a lot harder than it is to make fun of Ken Ham.

Meme It

January 20, 2010

meme (meem) v. To fortify a meme by consciously using it in such a way that the uninitiated reader would immediately discern its novel application.


Now that you’ve seen it, meme it!

Ricky Gervais answers: How Did You Lose Your Religion?

January 16, 2010

Ricky Gervais @ Big Think. •

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The only part that slightly irks me is there at the end when he says “by accident,” — but I understand the colloquial shorthand used by a comedian. He’s probably more concerned with effect than precision of meaning.

Still, it’s a great to be able to distill “losing your religion” down to a precise moment like that!

Can Ken Ham can ham?

January 15, 2010

Around the World with Ken Ham. A, round world, Ken Ham? Where in the bible, does it say the world is round? I wouldn’t mind being literally shown, where someone literally explains, (or, this being religion, baldly asserts) that the earth is round. There is probably some apologetics for that somewhere, though. More importantly, Ken Ham comes from Australia. Atheists are having a big convention in Melbourne, and he does not approve.

Imagine—listening to a meaningless talk at a meaningless conference held on a meaningless planet in a meaningless universe! Now, that would be an uplifting conference

Alright Ken, I’ll play your game. Meaningless talk…got it….meaningless conference…ok….planet….universe….alright I’m set. So something like…..

The next generation is calling it quits when it comes to traditional church attendance, and it’s not just happening on the fringe—it’s occurring in main-line denominations as well, says a local church, pointing to national studies.

St. Luke Church in Haslett is holding an open discussion on how the church, Sunday School and families can more effectively pass on the faith to coming generations.

This 90-minute workshop will be facilitated by Nate Burmeister, director of Fellowship and Youth at St. Luke, on Thursday evening, Jan. 14 from 7–8:30 p.m., in classroom 203.

The general public is invited to attend this free forum.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So empty, so void of life! Oh why, WHY did I chose to be on the wrong side of history?!!

Anyway, Ken Ham is obviously struggling with a bit of cognative dissonance here. I mean, he’s from Australia, and he’s a young-earth creationist.

Let those things sink in for a second.

As Fred Clark from slacktivist has pointed out, that is impressively absurd. Ken Ham is from a place with punchlines older than he claims for, say, all the existence of the universe. There are Kangaroo shits that have been around longer than Ken Ham gives for all of time.

I first was going to post about Ken Ham when the Secular Student Alliance, along with PZ Myers, went to Ham’s wretched Creation “Museum.”  Looking at various posts and videos that came out of that trip, I realized that the Creation “Museum” is really more like “The Creationist Hospital.” It is a tiny oasis in an otherwise relentless erosion of their beliefs, faith, entire world view.

Quoting Fred Clark again from the same post linked above,

The real problem with Answers in Genesis can’t be found in Genesis, or in their tortured reading of it. The real problem is that they’ve somehow become convinced that there exist two and only two possibilities. Either their particular, smallish reading of Genesis is “literally” true and the world was created in six, 24-hour days about 6,000 years ago by their particular, smallish notion of god, or else the universe and human existence within it are meaningless, a realm violence and death in which kindness, goodness, justice and beauty are nothing more than illusion. They believe that either the history of the universe is a brutally short 6,000 years, or else life in that universe is nasty, brutish and short and nothing but. They prefer the former, understandably. And any challenge to it — by argument or by exposure to science or reality — is thus interpreted as an affirmation of the latter view

This brings us back to the tragic figure of Ken Ham. The bitter apostate calling herself an atheist simply isn’t capable of organizing an international conference of like minded people. Or even imagining the point of going to such a thing.  How could she, devoting all her time to hating something she only pretends to even exists?

Ken Ham is not capable of engaging, or even honestly admitting the existence of, the people who make up the vast majority of atheists. That is a huge swath of a group that is otherwise quite diverse and fragmented.  But after the meat grinder that is Ham’s mind, it all looks the same.

We either all hate god, or all believe in nothing.  The rest is simply unthinkable.

to glenn beck

January 15, 2010

Just in case any of you missed what my dear colleague has done here, I’d like to reiterate the point.

glenn beck (glen-bek) v. glenn-beck•ed, glenn-beck•ing. 1. To popularize a  meme by fighting it judicially under the guise of copyright/patent/trademark infringement.  2. To call attention to a minor issue by means of its attempted squelching.  3. To make a fool of one’s self by publicly sparring a strawman which was purposefully presented as a parody. —n. 1. The act of glenn becking. 2. The act of turning a meme into a supermeme, which evolves into an object lesson in 1st Amendment principles.  –glenn-beck•ish adj. –glenn-beck•ly adv.

Usage: Did Glenn Beck glenn beck Glenn Beck?

Synonyms: to Dr. Laura, to Sylvia Browne, to Jerry Falwell

Related: The Streisand Effect

On August 31, 2009 08:32:26PM on, user “oldweevil” birthed the Glenn Beck 1990 meme when he asked, “Why haven’t we had an official response to the rumor that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990?” (source: pg 7)

This prompted one reader to register the domain name “” which has since been relocated to “” and “

This strange query by oldweevil is actually a combination of Beck’s own rhetorical style (e.g. Interview with Congressman Ellison) with The Gottfried Technique. (e.g. Comedy Central’s Roast of Bob Saget).

The cartoon South Park immortalized this rhetorical favoring of Beck’s, and illustrates that the only way to combat it is with satire and humor:

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In September of 2009, the registrant of the domain name received a Notification of Complaint, and learned that Glenn Beck had sought rights to the disputed domain through an International Panel.

The Panel rejected Beck’s complaint, for reasons too numerous to contain herein (click to download the full WIPO Decision), and he did not win the disputed domain.

However, having proven his point, the registrant handed over the user/pass of disputed domain to Beck in a scathing open letter.

The “glenn beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990” meme has morphed into the “glenn beck 1990” or GB1990 meme, which has now been consolidated nicely into the “glenn beck” meme, which is here defined.

Knee High Men’s Ribbed Socks

January 12, 2010

Knee High Men’s Ribbed Socks    a pattern by slightlyharmless

These socks were knit for a Men’s Size 12 recipient.

I used Lion Brand Wool-Ease (worsted weight): 1 skein for contrast toes, heels and cuffs; and a little less than 4 skeins for feet and legs.

I knit these on size 5 needles.

The gauge when laid flat is about 5.5 stitches per inch, but since some of the purls are hidden it looks like 4 stitches per inch – there are purls between the visible knits to account for.

These were Magic Loop, two a a time, toe-up; when you get to the heels, just work one at a time with the other sock on hold on the cable.


Using Contrast Color, CO 12 stitches using Judy’s Magic Cast On (24 sts per sock, 48 sts total). If using ML, always repeat for 2nd sock, using a separate ball of yarn.

Knit the first round, and make sure to knit into the back of the stitch for the 2nd half of each sock (the CO leaves them twisted, so you must untwist it as you knit around).

Increase every other round using Kf&b into the leftmost and rightmost stitch on both sides of both socks, then knit the next round even.

Repeat these two rounds 5 more times, giving you a total of 48 stitches per sock. Then knit 1 more round increasing 2 stitches (i.e. into the first stitch of each needle but not the last as before) to give you a total of 50 stitches per sock.

Knit 1 more round in CC, then switch to MC and knit 2 more rounds before switching to ribbing on the instep.

Ribbing Pattern

When stretched, the K1, P1, K1 will create the look of a “column” of knit stitches offset by 2 purl stitches on either side. When relaxed, the single purl between 2 knits will tuck itself out of view, giving it the look of K2P2 ribbing. By starting and ending each repeat with a purl stitch, the pattern of 5 columns is centered over the instep with a single purl on either side.


At 50 stitches per sock, work 5 repeats of the ribbing on side A of both socks, then knit across the bottom of the socks on side B. Continue in this way until you are 2” short of the required foot length.


Make heels with Contrast Color using the Short-Row Heel method. I wrapped 8 stitches on each side of the heel, leaving 9 unwrapped stitches in the middle (8+9+8=25).

Begin wrapping stitches:

Row 1: K to last stitch, wrap 1 and turn work

Row 2: P to last stitch, wrap 1 and turn work.

Row 3: K to 1 st before wrap, wrap and turn.

Row 4: P to 1 st before wrap, wrap and turn.

Repeat Rows 3 & 4 until you have the required number of wrapped sts on each side, ending on the Right Side with yarn in back, having just finished wrapping the final stitch on a purl row, and turning.

Begin unwrapping stitches:

Row 1: K to first wrapped stitch, lift up the wrap and work it by knitting it together with the stitch it was wrapping. Then wrap the next stitch (which will now have two wraps) and turn.

Row 2: P to the first wrapped stitch, lift up the wrap and work it by purling it together with the stitch it was wrapping. Then wrap the next stitch (which will now have two wraps) and turn.

Row 3: K to the next wrapped stitch, lift up both wraps and work them by doing a K3tog with the stitch they were wrapping. Then wrap the next stitch (which will now have two wraps) and turn.

Row 4: P to the next wrapped stitch, lift up both wraps and work them by doing a P3tog with the stitch they were wrapping. Then wrap the next stitch (which will now have two wraps) and turn.

Repeat Rows 3 & 4 until you have unwrapped all but one stitch on either side, ending on the Right Side with yarn in back, having just finished working the 2nd to last wrap, wrapping the last stitch on a purl row, and turning.

(This will leave one unwrapped stitch on each side, one will be worked in the next step, the other should be worked in the following round as you come to it naturally, it will be worked on the RS in the round, rather than on the WR flat.)

Knit across, working the final wraps at the end of the needle. Then repeat the whole process on the 2nd sock, which has been waiting patiently on the cable.


With Main Color, resume the ribbing pattern for the front and back of each sock; at 50 sts per sock, you will be working 10 repeats per sock, beginning and ending each needle with a P1 in order to center the columns evenly. Work in this manner until you reach the beginning of the calf shaping.

Calf Shaping

The calf shaping takes place in the upper two thirds of the length of the leg (measuring roughly from just above the ankle to just below the knee).

To determine where your calf shaping should take place, measure the length of your recipient’s leg as described and refer to the following diagram.

The length of the leg is divided into three roughly equal sections by the blue lines. Each of these sections is again subdivided into three equal sections, marking the sites of all increases and decreases to shape the calves. All incs and decs are to be done on the back (heel side) of the sock, the front (instep side) is to be worked in the established ribbing pattern. Thus, the first 3rd of the leg is worked according to established ribbing pattern.

(Referring to hand drawn diagram on far right): each “column” is represented by a thick black line (there are 5, centered across the back of the sock), the purl stitches have deliberately not been drawn, in order to give a clearer picture to the placement of the increases.

All increases occur in the middle 3rd of the leg, represented by downward pointing triangles.

The first pair occurs at the first subdivision, centered around the middle column. In order to do this, work 2 repeats as usual, increasing into the final purl stitch of the 2nd repeat with a Kf&b, then work 1 more repeat, again increasing into the final purl stitch with a Kf&b, then work 2 more repeats as usual. You will have increased two stitches into the back for a total of 52 sts per sock.

Continue in newly established pattern (there will be two spots where the columns are offset by 3 purl stitches instead of 2).

The second pair of increases occurs at the second subdivision. These will again be centered, but this time around the middle 3 “columns.” Work these increases as before, with a Kf&b, into the first of the pair of purl stitches which offsets the “columns” between which the increase is positioned. You will have increased 2 more stitches, for a total of 54 sts per sock.

Continue working this newly established pattern until it is time to begin the first of 2 decrease rounds.

All decreases occur in the final 3rd of the leg, represented in the diagram by an upward pointing triangle.

The first pair occurs at the first subdivision.

This time, in order to mirror (across the “x-axis”) the increases, you will reverse the order of decreases by first decreasing the outter portion, and then the inner portion.

Work decreases with a P2tog at the points diagrammed.

Refer to this closeup of the increase and decrease positions for further clarity.

Increase and decrease into the first of the two (and the first two of three) purl stitches which offset the “columns” of ribbing.

The remaining decreases will all ocurr at the 2nd subdivision of the upper portion, and there are two steps.

First, decrease back to the original 50 stitch ribbing pattern in the same manner as before, with a P2tog in the remaining inner positions centering the middle column. Then work 2 more rounds in pattern.

For the final round of decreases, work the following over both sides of both socks: P1, *K3, P2tog, repeat from * 3 time, K3, P1. You will have decreased down to 42 stitches, for a snug fit just under the knee. I do this rather than changing needle sizes, though you could just as easily go down a needle size instead of decreasing, but make sure that each “column” is now a K3, in order to make the cuff pull in more than the leg. For a larger calf, incorporate more increases and decreases, doing your best to evenly distribute and mirror them horizontally and vertically. Keep in mind that the ribbing is EXTREMELY stretchy.


With Contrast Color, continue in cuff ribbing for at least 2 inches. Then Bind Off VERY LOOSELY, exaggeratedly loosely, as the cuff will need to pass over the widest part of the calf. The ribbing should be much snugger than the Cast Off in order to keep the sock in position.

These socks were originally knit in Jan/Feb of 2009; the pattern was written out Jan 2010. If you should happen to find errors, or need clarification on any points, please leave your comments below. They are greatly appreciated.