Archive for the ‘satire’ Category

to glenn beck

January 15, 2010

Just in case any of you missed what my dear colleague has done here, I’d like to reiterate the point.

glenn beck (glen-bek) v. glenn-beck•ed, glenn-beck•ing. 1. To popularize a  meme by fighting it judicially under the guise of copyright/patent/trademark infringement.  2. To call attention to a minor issue by means of its attempted squelching.  3. To make a fool of one’s self by publicly sparring a strawman which was purposefully presented as a parody. —n. 1. The act of glenn becking. 2. The act of turning a meme into a supermeme, which evolves into an object lesson in 1st Amendment principles.  –glenn-beck•ish adj. –glenn-beck•ly adv.

Usage: Did Glenn Beck glenn beck Glenn Beck?

Synonyms: to Dr. Laura, to Sylvia Browne, to Jerry Falwell

Related: The Streisand Effect

On August 31, 2009 08:32:26PM on Fark.com, user “oldweevil” birthed the Glenn Beck 1990 meme when he asked, “Why haven’t we had an official response to the rumor that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990?” (source: pg 7)

This prompted one reader to register the domain name “glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com” which has since been relocated to “didglennbeckrapeandmurderayounggirlin1990.com” and “gb1990.com

This strange query by oldweevil is actually a combination of Beck’s own rhetorical style (e.g. Interview with Congressman Ellison) with The Gottfried Technique. (e.g. Comedy Central’s Roast of Bob Saget).

The cartoon South Park immortalized this rhetorical favoring of Beck’s, and illustrates that the only way to combat it is with satire and humor:

Vodpod videos no longer available.
In September of 2009, the registrant of the domain name glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com received a Notification of Complaint, and learned that Glenn Beck had sought rights to the disputed domain through an International Panel.

The Panel rejected Beck’s complaint, for reasons too numerous to contain herein (click to download the full WIPO Decision), and he did not win the disputed domain.

However, having proven his point, the registrant handed over the user/pass of disputed domain to Beck in a scathing open letter.

The “glenn beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990” meme has morphed into the “glenn beck 1990” or GB1990 meme, which has now been consolidated nicely into the “glenn beck” meme, which is here defined.
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Mahered and Feathered

November 19, 2009

In a shocking move, Bill Maher has done a near 180 on his vaccine position. This comes hot on the heels of his recent angry rant about getting flack over his opinions, controversial to some, incoherently false to others, regarding vaccinations.

“Like I pointed out on my show, I’ve read Microbe Hunters when I was eight. But then I realized — I had read practically nothing about it since then. I’d mostly been listening to a bunch of alternative medicine people, and none of them even liked Microbe Hunters.” began Maher, during a recent fictional lunch discussion with me.

Maher, being very smart, and not one to be suckered like the countless masses of people who do not watch his show, realized it was too late and he himself had, himself, gotten himself infected with the big Pharma’s latest disease – anti-vaccinationism.

“It came as a total shock to me one night”, Maher continued, “not like the kind of shock of like, that first coffee enema to remove the festering toxins, but, you know electric acupuncture? Like twice that. I was thinking about some of the things I said a while ago”, said Maher, citing some various, recent, beatings showered upon him on the internet, and his own show. “And I hadn’t really thought about all the things, I had actually said, were all out there – on the internet – and people just kept linking me back to my own stuff over and over and over. At the same time, I keep getting these emails, lots of them, about the “millions and millions” of lives saved by vaccines. And that’s when it hit me.”

Maher is not afraid to take anti-authority stances. He is known for being willing to deny the whole of western medicine as a scare tactic. With his new revelation idea conspiracytheory in the works, he was going to have to go once step further. He was going to need to take an anti-authority stance — with the anti-authorities.

“These weren’t your run of the mill ‘Ph.D.’ doctors we’re talking about”, Maher explains. “They were directly opposite of that, if not more so. I had just assumed because they were opposite, they were equal. But it went much further than that.”

Maher had found that night, with his own mind, the root of the entire system. “It was those millions and millions”, Maher continued, mimicking Carl Sagan’s memorable “billions and billions” quote. “Who had the most to benefit from all those people living long lives? It was obvious : Big Pharma itself”.

“I’m just asking questions here”, Maher warned. “But it looks like the medical community is secretly using dirty tricks, like these anti-vaccine cranks, to finally do away with their biggest, most arrogant mistake. Vaccines. By getting rid of all these diseases, western medicine is robbing itself of untold profits. They regret cranking out healthy kids, many with near disease free childhoods. The hospital industry has been hankering to undo the money lost ever since the CDC was formed, to rid the United States of malaria.”

“A flu shot is the worst thing you can do!” Maher exclaims angrily. “A flu shot just compromises your immune system! I said those things, on TV. How many people were tricked because I myself was tricked. I checked the evidence, it’s overwhelming how much there is, for vaccines. And now they just want to use these Wakefield charlatans to scare people off vaccines, to line their pockets again. It never ends, does it?”

When asked about his new position, Maher was cautionary about how solidly he stood. “You never really can be sure”, he explained. “My change isn’t a near 180. It’s more like a near 540. And I’m ready to do another anytime, when it comes to medicine.”

1990. Rape and Murder. Glenn Beck. And Free Speech

October 11, 2009

In a shocking move, Glenn Beck continues refusing to deny that in 1990, he raped and murdered a young girl. I mean, I don’t think that Glenn Beck is the kind of person who would rape OR murder anyone, especially not a young girl in 1990. But a lot of Americans want to know, why are you trying to get around the US court system? I’m not trying to call Glenn Beck unpatriotic, or even a shallow exploiter of tragedy.

It’s just that, as someone who spends at least as much time as Glenn Beck reading the Constitution aloud, wrapped in a giant authentic civil war flag as the battle hymm of the republic plays, I want him to prove to me that he’s not trying to sidestep the first amendment to silence criticism. I mean, I don’t think anyone who heavily depends on the right of free speech to do their job as a pompous talking head would try to reach around the first amendment to jack off a critic.

I think though, that a lot of Americans are asking about you Beck. They see that you’re a pro-American kind of guy. But then you turn to an international body to try to kill a website, because you know our American 1st amendment would throw it out. And what they want you to prove to them, Beck, and I’m not accusing you of this, is that you’re not a traitor to this country’s laws. Turncoat is not the way I’d describe you Beck, but I think you need to prove to me that your skirting the US court system isn’t the work of a thin-skinned coward. I don’t think you’re a traitor, Beck, but it would make a lot of people sleep easier at night if you could explain this to us. All you need to do is stop refusing to deny that you’re a traitor.